For you

 

I never loved you enough,

I never could,

My own deficit crippled me,

In so many ways.

Always looking for love,

Yet, never feeling loved,

Plasters holding me together,

Could never hold.

My heart had no stamina,

It could only let go,

Selfishly taking the easy road,

When the cracks began to show.

Too easily I let you go,

Offloaded, walking away solo,

In my heart another gaping hole,

But hey~ho, it's easier to mask,

With those who don't know.

Easily I blamed you,

When my eyes of love and rosy hue,

Were dimmed and darkened,

With boulders of criticism and blame,

Our toxic childhoods collided,

Neither of us could handle the fall-out,

Damaged hearts exhibit differently,

But the root of pain is the same.

We tore each other down,

With our endless shame game,

There were no winners,

Only casualties still bleeding,

Reeling, in desperate need of healing.

I really needed someone,

To show me how to love,

To demonstrate how it"s done,

I am still learning, weeping,

Oceans of tears,

At His feet,

I pray you will join me there,

And one day,

He will bid us stand,

Complete.

Dawn Annette Montague 

20 July 2024

For Steve.