Carousel of Pain

What began as gentle drops, of demoralizing rain,

Has become a full on thunderstorm, driving me insane,

A branch can only bend so far, before it starts to break,

And the tidal wave of insults, has jolted me awake.

I need to break this cycle, get off this carousel of pain,

Even in desperation, I cannot go round again,

There was a time, in love, I would follow you anywhere,

Ultimately my irrelevance, only leads me to despair.

It's a kind of push me pull me,

You pull me in, then reject me again,

I lost myself in trying, but I never really stood a chance,

I'm so easily discarded, without even a backward glance.

Assassinating my character, obliterating every act of love,

Targeting my heart with every venomous word.

Making me feel culpable, whenever I got upset,

Though until I felt ridiculous, you hadn't finished yet.

I am too strong, or too weak or too me,

To be who you would want me to be.

Hopes dashed I cannot ride, this carousel again,

Another painful lesson, has been my only gain.

Even now I am lamenting, you see I hate to disappoint,

If I could try little harder , but I know there is no point.

I didn't get what I wanted, but then again neither did you,

I guess we are too different for fairy tales to come true.

Dawn Annette Montague

15 December 2023