Father, My Father

 

Father, I'm brokenhearted, by the things that people say,

Father, I feel rejected, when others turn away.

When no one seems, to care for me,  I don't know what to do.

My anxious thoughts confuse me, and I can't find my way to You!

I want to bring you glory, and shine for you each day,

But today, is one of those days, I struggle to even pray!

I miss you, so much, and the closeness we shared.

But, it seems a separation, crept up on me unawares.

My relationship with you, seems lost and on the rocks!

Things that have happened recently, have come as quite a shock!

I prayed so desperately, for You to have your will,

I thought that you were leading me to waters, calm and still.

Dimmed by confusion, I cannot see your light,

Without, the warmth of your presence, I cannot even write!

Where are you, Oh my Father? Don't leave me here alone!

I need my loving Shepherd, to guide me safely home.

I'm scared my heart will close, being numbed by the world.

I need your Holy Spirit, to comfort me with the word.

Oh Father, what is going on? I feel lost and confused!

Our precious relationship, I don't want to lose!

I need my Abba's hand, upon me every day.

Oh Father, did I stumble? Is it me who went astray?

Was it lack of steadfast faith? Or lack of love?

Did I love you selfishly? Or all of the above?

A doubt crept in, and then the sum of all my fears,

Lodged in my heart, and stopped up all my tears!

My anxious mind took over, and nothing seemed real!

I suddenly, got busy, and had no time to feel.

Oh, how I miss you, I cannot bear to be apart!

I need you to be with me, the King of my heart.

I miss you, how I miss you, come back and be a part.

Fill my heart with gratitiude, my God how great thou art!

My all consuming passion, my breath, my dna,

I surrender to you, please come and light my way!

Holy Spirit, set my life afire, and in my spirit stay.

Let me be more like Jesus, each and every day.

I long to feel your words, the truth from your book.

Leaping from the pages, my spirit to touch.

As layer, upon layer of revelation comes.

Each verse like a target, finding it's way home.

Processing pain, is hard to go through.

And I really cannot do it, without holding on to you!

Life is full of disappointment, doubts and pain.

I thought, that it was over and yet, here I am again!

My unanswered prayers, are heaped up at the door!

I wonder if its my fault, and I should have prayed more!

Then come the recriminations, and I cannot bear the weight.

The enemy, accuses me, about my sorry state!

Oh Father, my Father, please come and take my hand!

Hold on, to me tightly, till we reach the promised land.

Do not leave me in this pit, of disillusion and despair!

Let the warmth of your Love, always show me, that you're there.

I am going through a crisis, and some hopes were dashed.

Yet, I still have faith, you will guide me home at last.

Please keep me on the path, until I finish the race.

Though, sometimes it is hard, to go at your pace.

I want to rush ahead, and have everything now!

But I know that He is faithful, He, who made the vow.

The Bridegroom is returning, He, made ready my place.

For now, my precious Saviour, come join me in this space.

Tears, have cleaned out my heart, there is room for You,

Please come and abide with me, all the days through.

Forever and a day, I want to give glory to Your name.

Singing, Holy, Holy, Holy to my God forever the same!

Come, Jesus Come, into my whispered prayer,

Come into my heart, and let me feel you there.

With Your, words of wisdom, and timely advice.

I may be able to get through, this thing called life!

Dawn Annette Montague

4th March 2021