A time to treasure!
About a month ago, on a cold February weekend, I was invited to the home of my son in laws family.
My son in law is Albanian and his family live in Frakull e Madhe, a village in Albania, between Fier and Vlore.
Edi's father is called Kastriot and his mother is called Besia.
Nine years ago when Edi and Bella met and fell in love, we never imagined that I would one day be a missionary in Albania!
I didn't really know what to expect, but I was grateful for their kind invitation and for the opportunity to be immersed in Albanian language and culture.
I had expected that there would be moments when I would feel a little uncomfortable. People are generally kind, but there is often a little awkwardness when you don't truly belong. I was prepared to feel like an outsider and a little isolated at times.
I was not prepared for, the overwhelming love and generosity that they showered me with! I was often completely undone, and my eyes were full of tears. I had never felt such warmth and acceptance in my entire life!
The family do not have a lot by western standards, but I couldn't help feeling that they had something so precious, that we in the West have lost. They are richer in love and time together. Part of me wanted to stay cocooned there forever. The world and it's cares could just vanish. I was very well, thank you. Enveloped in an Albanian village, I had entered into a sweeter, kinder and altogether gentler existence.
Who needs a retreat? These simple, beautiful people, nourished me deep in the depths of my being! They have got something so deliciously right!
Mealtimes were long and noisy. There is the feeling that everyone is excepted at the table. Nothing is rushed! There is time, time to sit, and to share together.
It is so different, to the way I usually bolt down food as a biological necessity, a quick fill up at the gas sation! Rather than something to share, savour and enjoy.
The food is simply wonderful, and totally organic. The corn fed chicken raised in the garden, on corn grown in the garden! Freshly picked salad, luscious deep green syrupy olive oil, olives, and fresh homemade silky, white goats cheese.
The homemade red wine is delicious and strong, more like a sherry than a glass of wine! The Albanian staple, the homemade strong spirit Raki completes the table.
At each meal I was given two huge platefuls of food. One with fresh salad, olives, goats cheese and Qofte or Kofta, which are homemade Albanian meatballs.
The second plate was piled high with rice and more meat than I have ever had on my plate before. I love my food but I was quite unable to finish even one plate!
Albanians are famous for their hospitality and generosity. In order to honour guests, if they don't have enough, they will borrow from friends and neighbours in order to give their very best.
I love the fact that, during the Second World War, Albanian families protected the Jews. They were protected because of two important Albanian values.
One is " besa" or honour and the other is hospitality. It didn't matter about religious differences. If a Jew was a guest or being sheltered in an Albanian household, they were protected as a matter of honour and introduced as members of their own family.
48 Albanians were honoured in 1995 with the " Righteous Among the Nations" award, at the Yad Vashem memorial in Jerusalem.
During the meal, every time a glass was lifted up from the table, there was a loud " Gezuar! "
This means good health, and as each person clinked their glasses, they wished each one a long and healthy life. I have never had so many blessings heaped upon me in my life. My favourite is, " May you live as long as the mountains! "
Although I understood a fair bit, my spoken Albanian consisted of mire, ( well) shume mire( very well) and faleminderit. ( thank you)
Not understanding every word, made me focus more on observing body language and facial expressions.
I watched Besia , tirelessly serve us all. I came to Albania to serve, but I could learn so much from this marvellous lady.
Nanna shared with me, that the role of the women in the family is to keep the family happy. Maybe not a very politically correct attitude this day and age, but Besia seemed to be completely happy, content and comfortable with her role and her life. The only thing she appeared to want more of, was time with her children and grandchildren.
When visitors dropped by, I watched as Besia prepared a tray, with a crisp, clean doiley, tiny cups of thick, black Turkish coffee and a small glass of raki, along with a sweet treat, a lokum or a chocolate.
Every guest was honoured and what struck me most of all, is that they were given time. No one was too busy being busy. No agenda was more important than spending time together.
Gezuar!
My son in laws, father, Kastriot, surprised me so much. I guess I had anticipated that he would pretty much ignore me. I was moved and felt quite honoured when he spent many hours explaining things to me.
He showed me the borders of his land and where everything grew. He pointed out the vineyard, the fruit trees laden with oranges and lemons and the olive trees.
I saw the wine press where the grapes were crushed to make wine and raki, and the houses close by where other family members lived.
Just up on the brow of the hill was a graveyard, where other family members were in their final resting place.
Kastriot drew me little maps, and explained how to get to Vlore and the coast, and how to get to Fier. He explained that Italy was one-way and if I kept going south, I would eventually be in Northern Greece.
He was as generous with his time as a person could be.
I didn't at any time feel like a nuisance. Sometimes people's busyness can make you feel like you are a burden and you constantly apologise for wasting their precious time! Often in the world today, productivity equals value, achievement equals value, and just spending time with someone is fruitless waste of time.
Whenever a visitor arrived, we would all stand to greet them warmly.
Women with hugs and kisses on both cheeks, and men with handshakes. When Nanna arrived, Kastriots mother, Edi's grandmother, she would hug me so tightly and speak so many blessings over me!
As we sat together, she would hold my hand, and if she noticed that it felt a little cold, she would rub my hands gently, caressing each one of my fingers.
Nanna just melts my heart, such love, such tenderness and attention.
I just can't help but make parallels. In the West we have to pay a therapist for a little one to one attention. We pay a hefty fee, to just be held, to be known and accepted for just an hour. A little shot of unconditional love in a busy, frantic and isolated world.
Yet, with all honesty, I can say, just sitting, holding Nanna's hand, is probably the best therapy in the world!
To see Nanna delight in her grandchildren, reduces me to a blubbering wreck. Such love, such delight and devotion. It is one of the most movingly beautiful things I have ever seen.
I am here in Albania to show people the love of Jesus and yet they are teaching me so much about love.
I thought about Jesus a lot, over this precious weekend.
I wondered if His earthly, cultural background was similar to what I was experiencing.
I know that, historically, the bonds of family were strong.
Eating together and just being together were enormously important.
In the gospels, we learn that Jesus, attended weddings, visited people, ate with them, shared stories, taught them and even invited Himself round for tea, in the case of Zacchaeus. (Luke 19 v 1-10)
Jesus chose the 12 disciples to be with Him. Many others followed Him, but He chose the 12 to have a more intimate and deeper friendship with Him. They ate together, travelled together, lived in community and shared everything.
I totally love, this song at the moment, " The more I seek you."
" I want to sit at your feet,
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breathe,
Feel your heartbeat.
This love is so deep,
It's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace,
it's overwhelming. "
The disciple John, the disciple who Jesus loved, reclined next to Jesus and may even have laid his head on Jesus's chest.( John 13 v 23)
Such closeness and intimacy is hard for many of us to imagine. Friendships were treasured, honoured and valued.
If Jesus needed friends it follows that we do too.
Our God is a God of relationships.
Jesus came at a time and to a culture that was deeply relational.
He showed His disciples how to live, how to serve and how to love unconditionally.
He taught them how to bear with one another, carry one anothers burdens.
How to forgive deeply and from the heart.
How to open their homes to all and give generously, even to those who were too poor, to ever return the favour, or repay them.
He taught them how to serve, by washing the dust and dirt from each others weary feet.
I pray that God blesses this family,
I pray that one day there is a church in Frakull e Madhe,
I pray that people take Jesus in to their hearts and their homes.
I thank God for teaching me, that time is precious
And for giving me this precious time.
A time to treasure in my heart forever.
Amen.
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